Seal of Faith

Have you been in a scenario wherein you feel like the whole universe conspires just to make you realize something that everything is falling at the right time at the right place or if there is something comes up and hinders you to a decision you are up to make? I can say, four years ago, this happened to me. In a world being dominated by extroverts, can you imagine how an introvert like me managed to survive those four, dreadful years? I hated speaking in front of a lot of people, working in a chaotic place and being in the center of attention. But how I could escape all of those if I was elected as the president of our organization?

From being the auditor of the organization, I became the president of one of the biggest academic organizations in the university. To be honest, it wasn’t easy. I preferred doing all the paper work more than delivering a speech, facilitating room to room activities or attending training camps with different student leaders within or outside the university because socializing wasn’t my cup of tea. But everything changed after I became president. I became someone I never thought I would become. I became aware of my actions and I would think twice before I utter or make a comment about something. I made myself more approachable to others by smiling to people I don’t even know then making my introductions afterwards. I thought I could keep up to this unfamiliar world, but I was wrong.

Rough days came like a wind and I felt like my world was crashing on me. I felt so alone in a battle to make my organization better and stronger. The soldiers that should’ve fought along with me was slowly losing the will and I felt like I was the only one keeping the burning desire alive. I had no one to rely on. My organization was taking too much of my time and I tend to forget that I was a student-leader-- I had to be a student first before being a leader. There were times when my professor called my attention in class, questioning me and my position. He looked at me as if I am a failure and my classmates laughed at me as if I wasn’t doing good enough.

Also, during those days, my insecurities would kick in. I questioned myself if I could make it and if I deserved to be the president of my organization. But despite everything, I kept moving forward. However, there were also times that I would feel tired of motivating myself and pretend that everything is okay. I felt like whatever action I made wouldn’t make sense any more. I felt drained by that thought and I lost my will to do what I dreamed and wished for. Months after I was elected, I decided to leave my post because I wasn’t not good enough. I told myself, I’ll let the vice president of internal affairs take over my position.

I could still recall what exactly happened when I decided to write my resignation letter. I stared at my laptop for hours before actually starting it. In a way, I was skeptical to resign because I still believed I could do something more than anybody else. But at the same time, I was afraid that I am not being good enough. Moreover, I wasn’t sure what would be the future of my organization. I had plenty of plans that wouldn’t be implemented if I leave my post. But something happened after I finished my resignation letter. My laptop screen went black without a warning. I was 100% sure that my laptop was charged enough or at least enough for me to save the document. But it did not happen on my case. When I opened my laptop, I found out that the document wasn’t even recovered. Then I asked myself that night, was it a sign? Was it His intervention to make me realize that I should stop on doing what I was planning to do? Was it His sign to tell me to keep moving forward and do not give up? Days after that night, everything became clearer to me.

I listened to what my inner self is saying that it was His intervention. It was His way on telling me that it is okay to fail to the point that you cannot do anything right and your plan didn’t work out as planned. I also realized that it’s okay to cry, especially when people are judging you without having the chance to actually know you or when people you trust the most would turn their backs on you. But never, ever give up or lose hope and guts to change things and start over because not all things come easy.

A year after that, something bigger was in store for me. I was elected as Vice President for External Affairs for Supreme Student Council. I was elected not just by my organization, but by the whole student body. Until now, I still ponder what had happened to me. I learned that we have to trust and believe in our self because trusting our self is like trusting God and His plan.

Zeal of Service

They said that everything happens by accident, but I believe otherwise. I believe that everything happens for a reason -- we are at the right time at the right place with the right people because of a reason. I believe that God put us where we are because it is where we should be. I believe that everything happens because He decided to.

It is still quite clear to me what happened 5 years ago. That summer of 2011, when I walked in the hallway on the 5th floor of the Life Science Building of De La Salle Araneta University, I never thought my life will change after that. But it did, it was a turning point of my life. The day that will always linger to my mind and for sure I will never ever forget. I was appointed as the Auditor of Hotel and Restaurant Management Society, my very own organization.

Honestly, I never imagined I’d become a leader. For me, leading people wasn’t my thing because I never wanted any attention. I hate the spotlight. I hate being in the front line and I hate taking responsibility.  I hate those times when people would tell me what to do and most importantly, I never wanted to have a status to keep but to my dislike it all happened. 

I believed that I was too far away to be so called a student-leader. I had my doubts, I didn’t have the guts to do things I am afraid of and I am unsure of. I can honestly say I had a low self-esteem. 

But everything changed after that day, I became someone I never thought I would become. I learned to overcome my doubts, I learned to build my confidence and my self-worth. I learned what to say at the right time at the right place with the right people. I learned to make a stand for what I think is right. I learned to come up with a vision that incorporates my mission as a student leader.

The journey I had as a student-leader wasn’t easy. It was a tough roller coaster ride for me.    It was hard because I was hesitant to say no. At first, people would criticize me that I can’t do things right and made me feel worthless. I lost some of my friends along the way because I was too focused serving my fellow students. I missed some of the important events because of several leadership training camps I needed to attend. Because I focused more on my position rather than my studies to the extent that I had to stay another year in college.

Despite all, I kept my feet on the ground and moved forward. I never let their words affect me in a way that it would negatively affect to my duties and responsibilities as their leader. I never regretted it, I embraced the positions I held. It was a wonderful journey for me. From being auditor, I became the president of my very own organization and a year after that I became the Vice President for External Affairs of the highest governing student body of the university, the Supreme Student Council.

Before I entered school politics, I thought the goals of a student government or any organization was plainly to organize a successful event. However, I realized that organizing successful events doesn’t equate directly to a good leadership. I started to believe that I was in my position to do something that other student-leaders failed to do, which was to serve. To serve in a sense that I should make a stand and draw the line for what is for the students and by the students. I believed that I should be an active agent in promoting the holistic growth of a Lasalyanetan student through their skills, talent and awareness which would bear fruit to proactive involvement inside and outside DLSAU. As a Lasalyantan leader, I took the responsibility to lead for the students and by the students and providing what is need and safeguard their rights. 

During my last 3 years in college, I spent my days to be the best person I can be. Not just for myself but also for the student I serve. As I look back to what I had and what I am right now, I thank God for His intervention. I graduated in college without any honors nor my name was not even mentioned. But I didn’t felt bad about it nor lamented that I wasted 3 years of my life serving my fellow students without prestige or recognition in return. I recalled when my professor told my parents “Magaling pong leader ang anak ninyo” during my graduation rites. To me, it was the best award I had ever received in my entire lifetime. I got the respect and admiration of my fellow students, my colleagues, and my professors. Of course, this wouldn’t be possible without the love and support from my friends and family.

I left college proud of what I had done and become. I believe that, I served my alma mater in accordance with the mission of one of its founder, St. John Baptist De La Salle which are to teach the mind, to touch the heart and to transform lives of others. I believed that I may not be the best student-leader my alma mater would have, but I believed I served enough to leave a mark to the people around me for them to continue the mission of service.