I used to hear people say that
they love the way I smile. That whatever circumstances that I am in, I just keep
on smiling. I believe that it is a distinct feature that they will always
remember about me.
I think, smiling and optimistic
are words that will always be linked to my character and personality.
I always smile and chose to see
the bright side of everything. It is not just important but it is essential to
my being. For me to be positive every time I face fear, doubt and pain. For me
to lift the spirit of the people who matters to me and for me to show the world
that nothing can put me down.
This is always been my façade.
You may blame my parents, my environment, my upbringings but this will always
be the way I will face and see the world.
I will face it with smile and optimism.
I always want to be the kind of
person who can lift the moods of others. I want to be the kind of person that
they can rely on at times of need, at times of fear and defeat. I always want
to be the kind of person that my friends can run to when they need a shoulder
to cry on and ears to listen. I want to be the kind of person who can make
people laugh at times of stress and troubles. I want people to believe that
rainy days are not forever that at the end of it there is a rainbow to look
forward too. I want them to see that in this cruel world we can look forward to
good things and good people.
But sometimes it’s hard to be
this kind of person. Sometimes it is hard to be a walking positivity when your
head is filled with negative thoughts. It’s hard when you start to feel doubt
and start to question things around you. It’s hard when you want to help other
people but you also need a hand to hold. It is hard to be the kind of person
that I am.
It’s hard when people used to see
you smiling and happy. It’s hard when they are used to see you as a strong
person simply because they will never ask if you are okay. They will not
understand when there will be tears falling on your eyes. They will never
understand when you need time and air to breathe. They will not understand when
you have doubts, when you lose your self-confidence, when fear is consuming
your system, and when you fail and broken.
These negative thoughts can put
me on the edge but it will never die down the bright side of me. It is honestly
tiring, to be the person that people expect me to. But still, the positivity,
optimism and happy thoughts are always part of my existence.
I am not perfect and I will never
be one. There will be a lot more things to learn, things to change and will
never change. But I will always be someone who wants to smile and laugh. I want
to be someone that can bring happiness and light to those who need it. I cannot
change the world but I can make a difference to those people around me by
simply being me.
