Journey

Journey

Our Professor asked us to write a short story.. so this is my work.. :D

I had a life that I love, a life with the people who make it a rollercoaster one. Who makes me feel contented, perfect, and fulfilled. This is the kind of life that I wanted for the rest of my life. But things changed inevitably, life is like a road and we came across a path of crossroad no way to go but to take step, we need to walk on our own different way. Indeed they take their step away and I was left alone, in the very same place gazing upon them.
“Why?” that was a question that came into me, are they not happy with me. A perfect life that I love became my greatest nightmare. Tears falls from my eyes as I look back hoping that everything was just a dream but it was real, it was reality. They were all gone.
“You’re a fool” she said “You spend too much time here, take a step and move on. Don’t let the past barge into your present life”
I frown and said “This makes me happy.” For so long I stay in this crossroad reminiscing the time, hoping everything will be the same that I will be with them again. Remembering them makes me forget about pain and makes me forget that they were all gone. I surround myself with their memories this makes me happy, this is what I thought makes me happy.
“Happy?” she question “Is this really makes you happy? You torture yourself waiting for something that will never happen again” She looked at me with pity and slowly disappear.
I put down the mirror and asked “Do I make a wrong choice?” But I don’t know the answer all I know is that this is my own decision and no one ask me for this.
I knew it already end, but I insist on staying longer in this crossroad more than the necessary time, I lose the happiness and I lose the things I supposed to go through. I failed to take chances, I failed to accept changes and I did not grab the challenge that offered to me. I don’t know where I got the courage to take a step or I don’t even know if it is really a courage that I can call but whatever it is, I know it helps me a lot. As I move forward trying to let go things, trying to forget the pain, trying to forget the things that crash my heart, my life change as if the whole universe turns differently.
I waited, just like waiting for Lazarus rise from the dead for the third time, how fool I am. Shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matters most is that I have to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished but this is something that I didn’t do. I live my life behind and because of this I forgot about what really life is all about and that there is some place waiting for me to explore something that I failed to take because of my foolishness. Though it’s hard to leave everything behind but this is something I need to be done because I need to heal the pain rooted in my heart, to live again just like before, and to dream once again because I know there is something out there for me something I need to reach.
Little by little I got a chance to see life more clearly and see how fool I am to live my life from the past, past that I can no longer have. I was in a wrong path I know, I am, but still I’m happy that I got a chance to see it, to find it out though it takes me a long time. So I must put a closure, an ending to my past life for me to start a new and exciting chapter of my life.
“You cannot come in.” The old man said at the entrance of the gate and I ask why.
“Because I don’t want too.”
My mind tells me he say it for the pleasure of saying it. I frown but I try to explain that I travel so far to reach it. I try to be nice at him hoping for mercy but I receive nothing.
I look back, I see road that starts to fade, I look at him and I feel like I’m giving up because he does not want me to come in.“No!” she said “just try one last time” then I did.
I stand up straight, look at him there is only one way left. I need to force him to let me enter and so I did. I move forward to the gate and in my amazement he just look at me and do nothing to stop me to enter. I take last glance at him before I leave then I see two other people arrive and they too walk in. The man does not even try to stop them like he did to me. I smile as I move on and realize that sometimes we need fight over for things that we want and we need to persist so that we can have the goal that we want.
I move forward carrying the scars from the past trying to be who I am and not being who I was. I don’t know where life will take me but all I know is that I will always have those scars in me and I accept that it will be forever.
“Hi,” voice I heard a voice from behind. I stop and look he smile and say Hi. “I guess pareho tayo nang daanan. Can we walk together?”
“I don’t know him. Why should I?” I told myself and look at him.
“Please.” He smile at me
Even I don’t want him too because I want to be alone, I need to have my own time but still I let him because I don’t want to be called rude and because I feel something for him that I can’t describe.
“Wait! Wait!” he said as we walk on our way. I stop, trying to look irritated in front of him.
“Can you hold Chicky for me?” he ask. He was holding a newly born chicken.
I have no choice but to hold it which immediately tried to escape. The more I try to squeeze it in my hands, the more the chicken struggled.
“You scare her,” I quickly look at him and he was smiling at me. “Hold her gently” I obeyed him. I opened my hands and the chicken stopped on struggling.
“You know what they were also like us humans” he slowly get the chicken from my hand “the more you try to hold them the harder they try to escape but if you are good to them sila pa mismo ang lalapit sayo and of course they will stay beside you and never leave you .” I make a glance at him and it was the first time I stare at him and the very first time my heart start to beat so fast.
“May dumi ba ako sa mukha?” he ask
“Wala” I immediately said then look another direction. I don’t know what was his next expression I never have guts to look at him after he caught me. I smile as I walk.
He makes me feel comfortable through our journey together he was so easy to be with and easy to laugh with. I feel like I know him for so long but I can’t recognize him no matter how I try to remember.
“You look so tough but actually you’re not.” I heard him say
I look at him and smile then go on I’m trying not to mind him but I start to be alarmed “What did he mean about that?” I ask my mind.
“You have to tell them how you feel, how much you got hurt, they have to know you’re tired, you have to show them you cry.”
“Stop saying none sense.” I said. I start to feel irritable.
“None sense?” he mock “Why do you keep it all within you? Why?”
I hate his question and I don’t want to answer his question, no one ask me that kind of question not even my closes friends, not even my family.
“How this stranger asked me this kind of question? A kind of question I don’t know to answer.” I told myself.
“Why do you need open this one? Sino ka ba? You’re just a stranger in my life” I told him
“Yes you’re right I’m a stranger in you. But for me you are my companion, my friend.”
I sarcastically smile and turn my back at him I’m ready to leave but he hold my hand
“I want to know why.” he told me looking straight to my eyes.
“Gusto mong malaman yung totoo?”
He nod
“Because I don’t want them to know my weakness, because I don’t want them to know that I’m hurt and how they can hurt me. I don’t what them to know anything!” feelings are just like a volcano bursting from my heart for so long this thing are kept deep in my mind and in my heart but I finally turn them into sounds. “Now you know. Are you satisfied?”
“It’s not wrong to show your emotion especially those things that you need too.”
“But for me it was so damn wrong!”
“You know what because of that your family, your friends they will never know how they will help you, they will never know that you need help maybe if they do they will just watch you coz they thought you can handle it, because they thought your strong enough to handle everything”
I was stun as I look at him. There were a lot of crucial moments that I was alone I have nothing but myself I thought that was right but as I look at him and what I heard from him I realize I was wrong. I was so damn wrong.
“You have to tell them what is inside of you, your true feelings for you to receive what you deserve.”
Tears start to fall unknowingly he smile at me and embrace me, I feel weak but protected in his arms. It’s nice to know that there is someone out there for you, someone who knows you and someone you feel safe. Every person in our life first becomes nobody before they become important people in our life.
“Thank you” I told him as I embrace back. But suddenly I remember one thing, I’m been with him for quite some time but I still don’t even know his name.
“Who are you?” I ask after he released me from his embrace.
He smile at me and said “Soon you’ll know who I am…soon” then he slowly disappear.
I look for him but I find no trace of him
“Don’t feel bad for something that needs to go” I voice I hear just like wind that blows into my ear “You still have long journey to take and we will see each other then.”
In our life we meet people that we want to be with us those who makes us happy, makes us laugh, and make us feel love and loved those are the people we want to spend the rest of our life that is why we are afraid to lose them and we try to hold them keep them around us but something that we failed to understands is that the more we try to keep them around the harder they will try to escape. They have their own life to live. There life will not only revolve around us and so we are. We never know what will lie ahead we just have to prepare our self what will happen next, if they leave hope you’ll see each other and if they will not then be contented for the life you share for now.
I sit down and wonder now. Again I am alone in this road and I ask myself what if I choose another path If I choose another way.
“The most useless thing in this world is to sit down and wonder what might happen if you choose another path.” I heard a familiar voice. I look back to see who it was. It was the old man that I saw on entrance. “You learn your lesson do not repeat the same mistakes again” He smile at me and start to walk again.
As I move forward in this road of life I realize that everything in this world move as well that nothing stay the same, changes is always in the corners. This road that I am taking now is the road that will lead me to my destine place, I place where I wanted to be, I place I dream of, a place where I belong.
But I don’t what to think about the future because for now I am happy and contented walking in this road. Meeting different People and I am with the people that make me happy makes me laugh and make me feel that life have its second chance.
My past, something that I love and always love they were a part of me that I can never bring back and I can no longer have and in my heart I accept wholeheartedly that it was gone, forever. But I am hopeful that someday I can walk again with the people of my past. To be with them again and make a new and wonderful memories to be remember.
The wind blows and I remember him, I feel the air that touches my skin as if it was holding me.
“I hope to meet you again soon.” I whisper it to the air. The wind strikes again as if he answer “Me too”
“Hey come on!” voices call me.
I smile as I turn my head to look at them. “I’m no longer alone” I told myself. I never been alone I just failed to recognize it before because of all those pains. My eyes are open for now and see things clearly.
I raise my right hand and said wait
I look back again to my previous road. Looking at it makes me realize how lucky I am for all the things that I get through, the pains, the hurts, the tears, the joy, the laughter, the learning’s, realization and experience that I gain in my journey, This is something that I am very sure that no one can take away from me.
“Thank you…and Goodbye” I said as I look at it.
I smile as I turn my back at my previous road and I see the sun that shine and smiling at me. There is another road I need to take, another crossroad but the difference from before now I am ready, without fear or hesitation, I am ready to face another road, another life, another hardship, I am ready to face the changes and challenges that life will offer me. I am ready because I am not alone I am with myself, with me is all the things that I learn and because I am with the people who believe in me. I am no longer afraid to face this crossroad I am willing to take this without apprehension coz this time around I have them and I have you.